


Three Bikini's

by Somewhatinsane555555



Category: SpongeBob SquarePants (Cartoon), Super Paper Mario (Game)
Genre: An odd mystery story, Count Bleck is so so terribly haunted by timpani it's sad if not out right disturbing, Count Bleck struggles to learn how to love again, Death, Definitely sexual, Dimentio Mr. L and Count Bleck are trapped in bikini bottom and causing chaos to come to town, Dimentio loves walking Mr. L on a leash, F/M, Gary the snail was not harmed and very much loved despite this madness., Love, M/M, Mr. L is a very good boy, Multi, Murder, Romance, Very very sexual, Welcome to the land of crack, learning to love, lot's of murder, so much crack, some BDSM themes, some depression and suicide themes, time loops
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-09-07
Updated: 2020-09-30
Packaged: 2021-03-06 18:50:02
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 4
Words: 6,951
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26333644
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Somewhatinsane555555/pseuds/Somewhatinsane555555
Summary: Count Bleck, Dimentio, and Mr. L find themselves in a strange underwater city after their warp portal ends up redirected. Attempts to warp back prove futile as a mysterious field is blocking the path home.  Unsure what to do, the three decide to explore the strange civilization, searching for answers as they try to find a way home.
Relationships: Count Bleck | Blumiere/Lady Timpani | Tippi, Count Bleck | mystery ship!, Dimēn | Dimentio/Mr. L, Karen & Sheldon J. Plankton
Kudos: 3





	1. Chapter 1

She haunted him in a white summer dress. The melody of her voice, followed by gold flowing hair like hay. It all stood out. Like the flowers. Markings of the grave he adamantly refused to make.   
He trudged on through the torch lidden halls of Castle Bleck. His cape trailing behind him, ragged from years of searching across caves and mountainside cliffs. Sunlight hadn't been claimed by the void yet, but her voice relished in his sorrow. She'd serenade him every time his misery wandered through the halls. A blade placed in his hands as she pleaded with him to end it all. He'd almost accept the gift. The sharp teeth of the blade had caressed his neck many times but never did he find the nerve to separate himself from the living plane of this world. Not until he destroyed them all at least. No matter if they were man, woman, or child. He'd take away their lives as his own life was taken from him. No one else would ever know the sadness that lived behind his smile. The void assured that when the time came.   
For him, love was as deadly as a blade, and when his eyes landed on Dimentio and Mr. L slamming their tongues down each other's throats against the dark walls of Castle Bleck. Well, he knew it was time to make his presence known.   
"Blehem!"  
He coughed loudly, causing Dimentio and Mr. L to pull apart and turn towards him. Red lipstick was smeared across the mouth hole of Dimentio's mask, but Mr. L's face was redder. His face flushed on both sides. He didn't want to know. Nor did he want to ask.   
"Ciao Count! I'm afraid me and Mr. L were a little 'tongue-tied' at the moment. Ahahaha!"  
Mr. L buried his face into Dimentio's shoulder, wanting to hide as badly as he did from the longing felt towards his lost love.   
"Bleh, Is it so hard to keep your tongues out of each other's mouths said, Count Bleck!"  
He yelled, causing Mr. L to jolt away from Dimentio's shoulder.   
"Err sorry, Count, I just really l-love him."  
Mr. L said, wrapping an arm around Dimentio.   
"You know nothing of love, said Count Bleck."  
He stared at Dimentio and Mr. L. A frown now on both their faces.   
"Count Bleck urges you two not to get too attached. One of you could lose the other at any time."  
Dimentio scoffed at that.   
"I would never allow Mr. L to run away. When we go for walks, I keep him on a firm leash."  
Dimentio snapped his fingers, causing a spiked black collar and leash to appear in his hands. Mr. L leaned his head forward, allowing Dimentio to clip the collar around his neck and attach the leash.   
"That isn't even... bleh, enough of this madness I have matters that must be attended to said-BLEH."  
He hurried past Dimentio and Mr. L and vanished into the darkness of another hallway. The sound of two pairs of feet echoed behind him as they always did.  
\---  
"What's his deal?"  
He asked Dimentio. Spiked collar and all as they walked across the grassy fields of World 1's playground.   
"Ahahaha, have no idea. Perhaps just a jealous old man, who hasn't been laid in anything besides a bed."  
He chuckled at Dimentio's reply and felt a pull. He walked in the direction asked of him to find the tug on his collar had been caused because his lover spotted a bush.   
It would be a lie to say he didn't need to go, and what a better place than here to mark his territory.  
"Anyway, can't have you peeing on the carpet again L. Be a good boy and do your business here."  
There was no reason to wait and be told twice. Scurrying over to the bush, he kneeled on all fours and raised his leg as he undid the zipper on his pants. He sighed as his pee left his bladder in a steady stream. Dimentio's gloved hands had found their way into his hair as he did so. His gloved fingers were gentle as they kneaded through the strains. When his business was complete he sniffed the bush and zipped his pants before returning to his feet.   
"Territory L-Marked!"  
A few hours passed before he reached the end of the trail. Many stray goombas had intercepted his path and naturally, he had to give chase. Dimentio would run with him, keeping up speed to ensure his chase would not be interfered by the confinement of his leash. As he licked off the blood on his teeth from the last goomba, he marveled at the star block glowing in front of him.   
"When are you gonna l-let me steal it?"  
He asked, pointing to the star trapped within the block.   
"Mmm...perhaps your birthday my dear. By the way, when was that again?"  
Dimentio asked, a smirk on his face.   
"Fuck you, Ya know I can't remember it."  
"Precisely the point my dear.  
He growled in reply.   
"Now, now if you want to suck on my cock, you better be a good boy L. It would be a shame to come so far just to be denied your treat."  
Pride relinquished, he fell to his knees, whimpering with the best puppy eyes that could be mustered against Dimentio.   
"Ahahaha, yes, much better, and since you seem so eager to please-"  
He watched as Dimentio unzipped his black pants allowing them to fall to his ankles.   
Saliva dripped from his mouth, as Dimentio moved the fabric of his underwear with his hand. In only seconds his s-"  
Buzzbuzzzbuzzzbuzzz  
Fire slashed through his nerves as he collapsed. His whole body twitched aimlessly against his will.  
"Watch it perverts!"  
Dimentio's body soon followed. A scream leaving his mouth as he fell on top of him.   
"Old Watchitt, ain't about to let public indecency go down in the playground. Off to Yold Town jail, ya go!"  
The man called Old Watchitt grabbed Dimentio and him before throwing the handcuffs around both their wrists and legs. He managed to look up, seeing the old man type a keycode into the star block before white surrounded them both.

* * *

  
The call from Yold Town jail about Dimentio and Mr. L needing bail money was not in of itself an absurd concept. As the master of a plot to destroy all life in the universe, his minions were expected to partake in criminal endeavors and while he questioned what situation made Dimentio and Mr. L so vulnerable, he had learned over the years to give people the benefit of the doubt.  
"Watch it!"  
The old man screamed as he entered the waiting room of the Yold Town jail. His cape flowed behind him as he walked to the front desk.   
"Count Bleck is here to bail out his idio- I mean minions."  
The old man tapped his hand on the rotted wood of his desk. Upon this, he fished through the pockets of his cape, leaving a pile of gold coins on the desk.   
"Watch it! Ten grand!"  
"Count Bleck says this is absurd! Even the bail for murder is lower than that!  
The old man looked at him with a glare.  
"Perverts didn't tell you?"  
"Excuse me?"  
The old man pulled out a few hand-drawn pictures from his desk, showing two stick figures in a grassy field. One of them wore a collar around their neck as they sat on their knees and stared at the other stick figures-  
"Oh, my lord!"  
He grimaced.  
"I spotted them walking home about to get it on near the end of world one's park and tazed them. Perverts I tell ya! What if it had been a kid who walked in on that!"  
He placed a hand near his face slapping himself and sighing internally as the old man continued his tirade.  
"Old Watchitt here, ain't gonna release sex offenders out into the public without a heavy bail, that includes a donation for my reelection campaign."  
The old man tapped on the desk again and he relented, pulling out the wallet he used for more elaborate purchases and placed a giant gold bar on the desk.   
"They're in the back, give me a moment."  
The old man could take all the time in the world for all he cared. Soon there wouldn't be a world left to own time anyway. He let his eyes wander to the left side of the room. She was there again, her smile showing as the old man took out a key and unlocked a door beside his desk. When the old man vanished she skipped forward. Putting a hand on his face she opened her mouth wider to reveal her sharp teeth.   
"Join me..."  
She whispered. A blade now inches from his throat as one hand caressed his cheek while the other was only a few inches from killing him.   
"Timpani, I-"  
"I thought you loved me!"  
She screeched before fading away into the air.   
The door behind him creaked and he turned around to see Dimentio and Mr. L being walked out with the old man. Their heads were down as they stared at the floor.  
"Thank you, Watchitt, I assure you these buffoons will be punished harshly when they get home."  
Old Watchitt shooed the three of him off, too obsessed with the giant gold brick that laid on his desk.

* * *

  
"What did Count Bleck tell you about love!"  
He hissed as they left the jail. There was no light from stars in the night. All of them had been swallowed by the void.   
"Count, l-like, I know we messed up but please understand-"  
"Count Bleck has to understand nothing! We will discuss this matter when we get home!"  
He waved his hands and opened the warp portal beckoning Dimentio and Mr. L to follow him in. With their heads still down, they did, feeling the coldness of the energy as the warp portal swallowed them whole.

* * *

  
Like a dog being tugged on his leash to the point of strangulation, he knew something was wrong.   
Mr. L was clinging onto him for dear life as he and Count Bleck, used all the magic they had to prevent themselves from being sucked away from the main warp portal. The force pulling them was strong though and tried as he could to resist. Eventually, they were dragged in, spiraling farther and farther away from home.


	2. Chapter 2

"Woah Dimentio! Check this out!"

He awoke to find a few pounds of sand in his mouth. Spitting out the grains, he used his magic to float back to his feet. Glancing around at his surroundings, he realized they were not only underwater but also very deep in the ocean. How they had not drowned despite this remained a mystery. Mr. L was standing at the edge of a cliff, waving for him to come over. He obliged, floating over to see what had gotten his lover so excited. 

"Thank grambi you're alright L, like an owner losing his pet I was so worried-"

"Shh… Dimentio, take a look at this."

He looked over at where his lover was pointing and felt his mouth widen. 

"It… that's… L do you realize where we are?"

Mr. L nodded, still entranced. 

The site beyond the cliff's edge was filled with metallic buildings that sprouted out of the sand. Fish people chatted and conversed in the distance as they went about their daily lives. A crowd had formed in the center of town as parade floats crawled through roads, the drivers shooting fireworks into the sky. A giant heart-shaped firework crackled over the city, and as it faded away he took Mr. L's hand. 

"Ahahaha, so this is the magic utopian city from all the legends."

Mr. L sighed leaning his head against his shoulder.

"I still can't believe it either Dim."

He felt Mr. L wrap an arm him.

"I can't believe we actually found Atlantis."

* * *

"Spongebob is he dead?"

"No Patrick, he's just sleeping"

His eyes opened and he sat up immediately, staring at a smiling block of cheese and a pink man shaped like a five-pointed star of bleh- he couldn't even believe such a description existed.

"Ah look Patrick he's awake!"

His eyes glanced back and forth between the strange men at his bedside.

"Wait is Timpani…? How did I…? Dimentio! Mr.L!"

The talking block of cheese shook his head.

"No stranger, I'm SpongeBob."

Spongebob pointed at his chest with a finger. 

"And this is Patrick."

Patrick stared at him with a blank face, drool spilling out of his mouth. 

"We were playing duck duck Bubble outside, and during the game, the sea sky opened up and made a sky baby!"

Spongebob giggled or ended up giggling while making a terrible impression of a goat. Which one it was he wasn't sure. 

"You took quite a fall before landing in my yard. Me and Patrick were unsure if you would even survive!"

Patrick nodded at Spongebob. 

"You didn't move for days but SpongeBob said not to bury you until you stopped breathing."

His eyes widened at Patrick. How long had he been out that burials were being discussed?

"We tried taking you to the hospital but you weren't covered by our insurance plan, so they said just to take you home and make you comfortable."

Spongebob frowned, tears welling up in his eyes. 

"You made it though. I don't have to hold it together for Patrick anymore."

Patrick patted Spongebob's back as he sobbed into his shoulder. 

"Spongebob was really worried about you especially when your mommy-"

"Patrick! Please don't tell him!"

He narrowed his eyes at the two. 

"Count Bleck asks what in the name of Jaydes are you talking about? My mother's not the sky! She's been dead for thousands of years!"

Spongebob looked over at him, the tears in his eyes slowing. 

"That's...horrible! How could you say that about her! She's your mommy!"

Spongebob burst into tears again.

"Is that why his mommy abandoned him? Because he's a mommy jerk!"

Patrick glared at him, readying one of his appendages into a fist. 

"No Patrick don't! He's only a baby!"

He scoffed at that, and pushed himself out of the bed, finding he was able to stand on his feet. 

Spongebob and Patrick gasped. 

"You're… you're all grown up!"

He punched both Spongebob and Patrick, before leaving his 'bedroom' and heading downstairs.

* * *

"Woah, L-look at the menu options Dim, it's incredible!"

His mouth watered as Dimentio led him on his leash past living seafood that ranged from thin barnacles to mega lobsters.

"Ahahaha, Atlantian's are a delicacy L, like a foreigner on new soil we must indulge on them like-"

"Squirrel!"

Dimentio nearly tripped as he dragged him to a squirrel wearing an underwater air suit. Still on his leash. He rushed towards the squirrel before extending his fangs and sinking them into the arm of the suit. The squirrel screamed before pulling his teeth out and sending him back barreling through the air towards Dimentio with a karate chop. The damage had already been done though. Water was leaking past the fabric of the suit. 

"What in tarnatio-"

An energy ball slammed into the squirrel's chest before she could finish her sentence, leaving a giant hole at the contact point. 

"Tsk, tsk, no one messes with my good boy. Right Mr. L?"

He nodded, panting as blood fell from his teeth onto the sand. The squirrel gurgled a few words through the water that filled its helmet before dying. Its body floated lifelessly above the sand, blood leaking from its arms turning some of the surrounding ocean red. A crowd of fish ran forward, mouths agape at the scene. 

Dimentio turned towards them allowing his own fangs to show. 

"Enjoy open SEA-food L!"

Dimentio unclicked the leash around him and the crowd of fish screamed. He picked them off one by one as he ran, leaving a trail of dead bodies behind as Dimentio's laughter echoed in the distance.

* * *

“For the last time Spongebob, I told you-”

He stopped mid-sentence, seeing a bat-like creature with a top hat standing on his doorway. 

“Greetings, I am Count Bleck, prince of the tribe of darkness. I’d like to rid you of your neighbors, but under the old laws, cannot do this without your-”

“Yes!”

He screamed, jumping up and down in the air as he clenched one of his tentacles into a fist. 

“Count Bleck asks if you are certain of this? Ridding one of their neighbors-”

"Yes, yes! Hallelujah! Yessss, rid them from me! Peace and solitude here I come!" he wooed again and went back into the house, closing the door behind him. The bat-like creature then pulled out a blade from his cloak tracing the knife delicately in his hand…

* * *

"My my L, wasn't that a delicious meal?"

Mr. L and Dimentio rubbed their stomachs in the middle of town as they walked while munching on the remains of the fish people they referred to as Atlantians.

"Mmm...yeah dim, love seafood bro."

Eventually, they came across a strange building made out of wood. To the building's left was a sign made out of a giant clam. The red words painted on reading 'Krusty Krab'.

"Ewww"

Mr. L commented, shaking his head as blood from his seafood meal dripped from his teeth. 

"Ahahaha, the Atlantians must love their fried STD's L."

Mr. L rolled his eyes, shaking his head at the strange sign in front of him.

"Damn man. Why fish people gotta be so gross?"

Dimentio and Mr. L continued to tread towards the strange building just to see a krab wearing a suit. 

"Hello mone-, I mean customers! Come in! Come in!"

The talking krab tapped away on his two skinny feet as he opened the door and entered the building known as the Krusty Krab. Mr. L's mouth was salivating during this. Roasted over an open fire krab was quite a delicacy and man, even after contributing to the mass genocide of a civilization, another warm meal wouldn't hurt.

_ But how will we light the fire? _

Mr. L mused, still aware his surroundings were currently surrounded by water. 

"Hey Dim, ya think fire works here since were breathing?"

Dimentio hummed quietly, clicking his fingers to see a few sparks form at the tip. 

"Like a child setting the house aflame after a busy day, forest fires will rule the day L!"

Rubbing his stomach, Mr. L salivated as he prepared to feast on his next meal.

* * *

Count Bleck threw the two bodies into the shallow sand grave. With a few kicks of his feet, the yellow and pink bodies were covered with the surrounding sand, ensuring they would never be found again. He then decided to travel down the nearby street, hoping to find the whereabouts of his two lovestruck minions. 

_ Squish. _

"Bleh! What sticky substance dares defile Count Bleck's shoe!"

Count Bleck grabbed his leg and lifted his shoe to twist it to the right. He then saw a flattened green creature with a giant eye staring at him. A faint scream coming from him. 

"Watch where ya going you idiot!"

The voice from the tiny creature was faint but Count Bleck could still hear the words coming from its mouth. Apologizing profusely, Count Bleck peeled the green man off his shoe, dropping him down beside him.

"Imbeciles…"

Count Bleck watched the thin green creature walk in the direction he was heading and decided to follow. Hoping to find answers about the strange place he landed in.

"Excuse me, tiny green grass man. Count Bleck is wondering what strange land we are currently inhabiting."

The tiny green creature stopped and turned around. Count Bleck bent down to see a scowl on his features. 

"What is this a joke?"

Count Bleck shook his head.

"Stop pulling my leg man. Ya know where we are! The only ones who don't well…"

The tiny green man trailed off and turned around, beginning to walk again.

"Count Bleck is quite serious, Count Bleck and his minions are not of this world. Our warp portal malfunctioned and-"

"Holy mother of expired tuna!"

Confused, Count Bleck looked down just to see a dead fish head slightly peeking out from the sand. 

"Well, It is Count Bleck's dinner time."

Count Bleck bent down and grabbed the fish head sticking out from the sand. Opening his mouth, he dropped the head in chewing softly on his meal.

"Good god man!" 

Count Bleck shrugged, casually swallowing his meal.

"Count Bleck sees no reason to waste a perfectly good meal."

The green grass creature put his hand over his mouth and gagged, apparently not a fan of perfectly good seafood. Meanwhile, Count Bleck noticed two men, far out in the endless sand dunes, walking towards him. He squinted his eyes. A sigh of relief leaving his mouth as he determined they were his idiotic minions Dimentio and Mr. L. 

“Minions! Count Bleck is here!”

Count Bleck yelled the words to them while waving a hand in the air. He waited a moment and turned around once he heard the familiar whirl of the warp portal. Dimentio and Mr. L were now by his side, seemingly unharmed although they would need to be bathed ten times over just to remove the presence of fish blood dripping from their bodies.

“Ciao Count, me and Mr. L feasted on seafood finer then goombas bathed in Koopa blood!” 

Mr. L licked his lips in agreement as Dimentio said that, rubbing his belly for a second before burping up a krab eye.

“Holy Macheral! You killed Mr. Krabs!”

Dimentio and Mr. L looked down upon hearing the quiet squeaky voice to see a seagrass creature with one eye staring at them. 

“Ehh… I’ll pass on eating seagrass man Dim.”

Not bothering to listen to seagrass man’s other almost unhearable comments Mr. L and Dimentio looked back to Count Bleck. 

“Well minions, get ready. We're all going home. Count Bleck has had enough of this universe filled with cheese and penises!”

With a wave of his cloak, Count Bleck opened another warp portal. Dimentio and Mr. L followed behind, leaving the seagrass man as one of the last survivors of Mr. L’ and Dimentio’s seafood massacre. 

* * *

"Karen search bikini bottom for life-signs!"

A few whirls and beeps left his computer wife as he waited patiently in his restaurant known as the 'Chum Bucket'. Traversing the lifeless town, he had found wave after wave of corpses, clawed, chewed, and dismembered as if they were nothing but food. A confirmation beep was then signaled by his computer wife, the analysis of Bikini Bottom, and the surrounding area complete. 

"Only two life-signs detected. Would you like me to scan unit 84 of Bikini bottom's storage facility plankton?"

He nodded again, walking over to a file cabinet near his desk. 

The confirmation beep seemed to take centuries before occurring as he reviewed his statistics of unit 84. Eventually, his wife did give the signal though. The number she gave never surprised him these days. "Three hundred and ninety-six million, four hundred and two."

He groaned. Of all the heroes he would need, three psychotic fish eaters were not what he had in mind. Still, they had managed to best Mr. Krabs even if it had been through gruesome means. Closing his eye, he thought about it a moment before turning to his computer wife again. 

"Karen, perform sequence 'time travel' input 'one day ago!"

Karen did as he obliged whirling and beeping as the room around him blurred. 


	3. Chapter 3

Dimentio groaned as he unearthed his head from the sand once again. This time Mr. L was by his side, looking almost…afraid?

"Dim, ya need to see this. Really l-like ya- ya need to see this…"

Mr. L's stutter sent alarms down his spine. The man rarely stuttered to this degree except when he was nervous, and L was not one to be nervous easily.

Deciding to help him calm down, Dimentio had Mr. L stay still while he placed the spiked collar around his neck. Like a security blanket, Mr. L's tension seemed to fade as he was firmly collared and leashed. Giving a firm bark, Mr. L led Dimentio out to the cliff they gazed at once before. 

"I thought... I thought like Dim didn't we…?"

He trailed off staring at the town in the distance. 

The fish people they had devoured and mauled only an hour before were alive again. Celebrating in the town they believed to be 'Atlantis' once more…

* * *

Count Bleck stared at the creatures he had 'ridded' from this neighborhood. He blinked a few times to confirm he did not have brain damage.

"Ahh look Patrick he's awake!"

Count Bleck stared at them speechless as they drabbled on about the same sky baby nonsense. 

"Spongebob was really worried about you especially when your mommy-"

"Patrick! Please don't tell him!"

Count Bleck narrowed his eyes at the two once again. 

"Count Bleck demands to know, WHAT IN GRAMBI'S NAME IS THE MEANING OF THIS!"

Spongebob and Patrick went silent, mouth agape at Count Bleck's outburst. 

"You're mommy… she… she abandoned you."

Spongebob finished looking at the floor quite sad. 

"We know it must be hard for you- oomph."

Count Bleck grabbed SpongeBob by his neck and dragged him to his face. 

"Count Bleck, Count Bleck… ridded you! And yet you stubborn _eheehhehe-"_

Count Bleck stopped mid-rant as Spongebob and Patrick widened their mouths. 

"Spongebob, the baby said a naughty word."

"You're right Patrick."

Spongebob pulled himself out of Count Bleck's grip and then waved his finger at him. 

"No, no to that word little one. don't know what your sky mommy taught you but sailor words are bad!"

Count Bleck remained at a loss for words. 

"Eheeehee-"

He tried again, causing SpongeBob and Patrick to gasp. 

"Count Bleck… Count Bleck is being censored by dolphin noises?"

The realization baffled him, especially when he was capable of saying 'penis' just fine. 

"Spongebob, he keeps doing it."

Patrick said, sucking his thumb as he looked down at Count Bleck. 

"That's it little one! You're going on a time-out, right now!"

Spongebob leaned forward trying to grab Count Bleck only to be punched in the face. 

"BLECH, NO ONE PUTS THE GREAT COUNT BLECK IN TIMEOUT!"

He took out a knife and proceeded to stab SpongeBob and Patrick repeatedly for the second time. He glanced behind him a moment to see Timpani smiling at him. Her eyes were cold as blood drained down cuts on her pale skin.

* * *

"This doesn't make sense."

Dimentio frowned, looking at the sea creatures they had previously devoured and maimed casually celebrating again in the 'Atlantien' city. 

Mr. L's mouth was wide as well, struggling to process the new life. 

"It's almost like everything we did...never happened."

Dimentio said nothing looking at Mr. L then back at the Atlantians. 

"L, stay with me. Like a sleuth, I sense something is amiss about our situation."

For a time, they wandered through the Atlantian city, eyeing the fish closely as they danced, and sang while worshipping a giant seahorse float. 

"Would you boys like some ice-cream?"

Dimentio and Mr. L turned around to see an Atlantian tending to an ice-cream station. 

Dimentio came forward with Mr. L on his leash, eyeing him curiously.

"Apologies, my fabulous Atlantian but alas, me and Mr. L fail to possess your currency or even our own for that matter ahaha."

The Atlantian only smiled and shook his head.

"Ahh, you must be new in town. Today we're giving out ice-cream for free, especially with the celebration."

The Atlantian plopped two scoops of sherbet ice cream into cones.

"Hmmm, celebration you say?"

Dimentio put his hand to his mask, signaling to the man his ignorance as he took the ice cream cones from him.

"Ahh yes, today is the Seahorse parade, held on the anniversary our dear restauranteur Mr. Krabs saved us from starvation."

Mr. L raised an eyebrow.

"Ya know the irony is killing me here Dim."

Mr. L whispered in Dimentio's ear.

Dimentio shook his head and put a finger to the mouth-hole of his mask signaling Mr. L to be quiet. 

"Starvation you say? Like an over-enthused historian, I would love to hear more."

* * *

Count Bleck buried the bodies of his 'Parents' once again, even going to the lengths of defying the logic of this world and setting their bodies aflame to ensure they would stay 'ridded' permanently. He then proceeded to travel down the nearby street, once again, hopeful to find Dimentio and Mr. L as easily as he did before. As if deja vu could not resist following him, his foot again made contact with a green sticky substance that just so happened to be the green grass man. 

"Wait"

The grass man pleaded in a high pitched voice barely audible to Count Bleck. 

Count Bleck obliged gently letting the grass creature rest in his palm.

"Excuse me, good sir! I need your help."

Count Bleck narrowed his eyes at the feeble green grass.

"Bleh, Count Bleck has no time for help! Count Bleck must find his idiotic minions before they start Ehehehe themselves in the street!"

The green grass man covered his mouth in horror. 

"Watch your language man!"

Count Bleck scoffed at this request and noticed the rumbles being emitted from his stomach. 

"Count Bleck sees no reason to waste a perfectly good meal!"

Before the green grass man could even scream, Count Bleck threw the grass man's paper-thin body into his mouth and chewed. 

The high pitched screams were quite irritating, so he mashed up the grass man's body quite quickly to end them before swallowing him whole.

Looking back up, Count Bleck saw Dimentio and Mr. L both in the distance, ice cream cones in hands. 

Waving from afar, Count Bleck's minion quickly closed the distance between them, and the band of three were reunited again. 

"Ciao my Count!"

Dimentio smiled as he gave a low bow.

"Like two lost children in the woods, me and Mr. L are finally reunited with our parents safe and sound!"

Count Bleck groaned and shook his head. 

"Did ya hear the Atlantians used to be starving?

Mr. L piped in, nuzzling Dimentio's neck hopeful for another dog treat. 

"Bleh, Count Bleck could care less about these 'Atlantians!" Count Bleck is tired and wishes to go home!"

Mr. L only shrugged at Count Bleck. More interested in treat time. Dimentio in turn snapped his fingers and formed a dog treat casually throwing it into Mr.L's mouth. 

"Dumneheeee minions."

Dimentio and Mr. L raised an eyebrow.

"Forget it says, Count Bleck. Count Bleck says we are leaving."

With a snap of his fingers, Dimentio opened the warp portal for them and they all jumped in, preparing to finally go home.

* * *

"Bleh, Dimentio what is the meaning of this!"

Dimentio didn't even look back at the Count as he focused. A barrier was physically blocking them from taking the warp path home or any warp path for that matter. 

"My Count, dearly I cannot explain this but an energy barrier appears to be blocking us from crossing to our world, almost like a lock on a children's gate."

It was taking both his and Count Bleck's own energy to keep charging at the barrier. They had tried portals to other worlds but they too were blocked by a mysterious force field.

"We have to turn back!"

Mr. L yelled as he dealt with blow after blow of collisions into the barrier. Even safely behind Dimentio, the impacts were beginning to take a toll.

"Ah, my dear L is right I'm afraid. My Count, we must retreat for now, like shy-guys who fell flat on the punchline!"

With a sad sigh, they fell back returning to the mysterious underwater world.


	4. Chapter 4

Count Bleck, Dimentio, and Mr. L stared at the three homes near the road they reunited on. The Count knew with certainty that the pineapple home was unoccupied. As proof, he showed his minions the shallow graves he had made in the back-yard. At least, he had believed the home was empty. A singular 'meow' had shattered that reality as a giant snail slithered forth stopping itself near an empty food bowl.

_A pet?_

Count Bleck mused, picking up the snail and petting his shell. The snail purred in reply, a wave of guilt following him. He realized that by murdering his supposed 'parents' he may very well have orphaned another child.

Dimentio and Mr. L also came forward, giving a few pets to the snail.

"Ahaha, so slimy, yet so sweet… mmm L. What do you think."

Mr. L gave a thumbs up in approval, looking down at the name on the food bowl.

"Gary".

He spoke aloud, attracting the attention of Dimentio and Count Bleck.

"Our snail's name iz Gary guys!"

Gary meowed in acknowledgment, deciding to climb up Count Bleck's head.

"Ahahaha, I think it likes you Count!"

Dimentio grinned, casually folding his hands behind his head as he levitated in the air.

"Bleh."

Count Bleck scoffed, casually grabbing Gary and putting him into Dimentio's arms. He then went off to clean the slime on one half of his face.

Meanwhile, Dimentio and Mr. L tended to the purring snail, who had fallen asleep in their arms.

"Ya know dim, I never wanted babies but…"

Mr. L trailed off. looking at the sleeping snail.

"I wouldn't mind taking this l-little guy home and raising him ya know?"

Dimentio nodded, a content smile plastered onto his mask.

"Perhaps when we manage to get home my dear, we will take him with us. I am sure the other minions will be overjoyed with this ahahaha."

Count Bleck returned from the bathroom and stared down at his minions.

"Dimentio and Mr. L, Count Bleck wants none of this 'love' nonsense. We have much work to do if we are ever to return home!"

Dimentio and Mr. L rolled their eyes as Count Bleck sat down on a giant red buoy chair and propped his hands together.

"Now as I, Count Bleck, have declared this our home and meeting place, it is imperative we avoid alerting the locals of our presence in this pineapple. They may not take kindly to a hostile takeover of their land."

Dimentio and Mr. L nodded still petting the purring snail.

"Meow."

Count Bleck shook his head at Gary.

Dimentio looked up at the Count.

"Understood Count, however, dare I say, what if time loops to the beginning like a back cursya hurdling a pedestrian to the starting goal once again?"

Count Bleck gave a heavy sigh as he looked at Dimentio and Mr. L.

"Then we'll keep meeting here. Time itself may have reset but our memories have not."

* * *

Mr. L and Dimentio spent the early part of the morning 'scavenging' the bedroom of their new home. Count Bleck had ordered the pair to search for necessities and they did find one to be fair, a lovely bed made up of three mattresses all piled one on top of the other. The little ensemble of mattresses was followed only by a small cozy purple blanket, scented with luxurious Atlantian sea flowers and strangely the smell of blood but that was beside the point. Dimentio had a hand over Mr. L's mouth as they moaned beneath the sheets. Mr. L's hands were pushing Dimentio's back down to ensure he remained close and deeply sheathed as possible. Dimentio had started to shake.

"Oh- L, I...I want to stay a-llllittle longer!"

Dimentio whimpered, looking down to see L shaking as hard as he was.

"Dim, you feel, sooo good!"

Mr. L moaned out, panting heavily as his vision began to blur.

"Oh, L, I can't, this warmth, ahhh- this scented floral ohh, it's it's too-Its too-"

Dimentio's whole body went stiff. Mr.L's soon followed. Collapsing into each other both of them breathed heavily as they felt the mess they made drip deep into the sheets.

"Three times"

Dimentio chuckled, as soft red mark's lit up the cheeks of his mask.

"Shall I- take you for another ride dear?"

Mr. L moaned a low 'yes' between his breathes preparing for another round just to hear a hard knock on the bedroom door.

"Dimentio! Mr. L!"

Count Bleck yelled, irritated to hear his minions engaged in deep coitus.

"Yes, my Count?"

Dimentio sang back with a smile on his mask.

"Count Bleck demands an end to this 'Love' nonsense. We have work to do!"

Dimentio snapped his fingers once to put on his clothes and twice to appear in front of Count Bleck.

"Ahhahaha, of course! Me and Mr. L will get to work like busy queen bees having lesbian sex in a tree!"

Count Bleck glared at Dimentio.

"Err, I mean, like worker ants satisfying their queen, ahh well- ciao, for now, my Count!"

Dimentio smiled, before snapping back inside their 'bedroom'. When he returned, he found Mr. L roaming through a closet. Dimentio then floated over just to see Mr. L drag out a giant suitcase, heaving as he placed it in the center of the room.

"I think I found something Dim."

Mr. L went down on his knee's looking up at Dimentio hopeful for a few pets to his head. Dimentio obliged, lightly petting Mr. L's head as he snapped his fingers to undo the lock on the suitcase. The quiet click indicated Dimentio's magic had worked and the suitcase opened revealing pile after pile of money.

"Ahaha you have done a wonderful job my pet!"

Dimentio grinned, leaning down to run the money through his fingers.

"Our old 'hosts' were quite the wealthy bunch ahahaha! Count Bleck should be pleased!"

* * *

Dimentio, Mr. L, and a giant suitcase of money came down the stairs as they prepared to report their findings to Count Bleck.

Count Bleck, meanwhile, had turned on the T.V. to an Atlantian rom-com. Upon seeing this, Dimentio put a hand over Mr. L's mouth and grabbed him so they would both be floating above the ground.

Floating over behind the couch Dimentio and Mr. L struggled not to laugh as Count Bleck begged with his supposed 'dead' heart for prince Barnacle to finally propose to the love of his life, princess Anchovy.

"Bleck, why Barnacle? Why won't you do it? Don't you love her?"

Dimentio and Mr. L could not suppress their laughter anymore. They shrieked as hysterically as banshees, causing Count Bleck to turn around horrified.

"Ahh, Count Bleck was umm, umm- just changing the channel, blehehehe."

Count Bleck pressed a random button on the remote, causing a Godzilla movie to appear too his saving grace.

"Ahem, now my minion's I umm- Count Bleck asks what you have to report?"

Dimentio and Mr. L struggled to catch their breath before finally composing themselves. With a snap of his fingers, Dimentio then dropped the suitcase on the floor. It opened immediately revealing pile after pile of money to Count Bleck.

"Ahahah, my Count we found riches beyond a millionaire's wildest dreams. More than enough money to survive and research ways home for the time being ahahah!"

Count Bleck clapped his hands together with a grin, pleased their old hosts were quite well off for living in a simple pineapple.

"Bleh, yes my minion's Count Bleck is quite pleased!"

Count Bleck, ran his fingers over the money before giving a few blocks to Dimentio and Mr. L.

"Count Bleck says you may need these. We may be stranded here for a while."

Dimentio and Mr. L nodded, taking the money with eager hands.

"Now while you minions have been eeheeing upstairs, Count Bleck has come up with our first lead on returning home!"

Count Bleck fiddled with a pocket in his cloak just to pull out a small round device.

"Count l-like what the underwhere's that?"

Mr. L asked, getting up from the couch.

"Mr. L, this is a compass, given to me by my long lost lo- er a... a dear friend."

Count Bleck stated, wincing slightly, as he dropped the device into Mr. L's hand.

"In the time of the tribe of darkness, we'd use this to tell north from south, and east from west."

Dimentio's eyes perked.

"Ahh Count! Quite brilliant! This should track down the magnetic field generator!"

Mr. L raised an eyebrow.

"Magnetic field generator?"

Dimentio laughed at Mr. L's question.

"Ahahaha yes my pet. The barrier blocking the way home is comprised of repellant magnetic energy. With the use of this compass, we can locate the generator by tracking down where the bulk of the energy is coming from!"

Mr. L chuckled in turn before striking his 'Green Thunder' pose. A wide leg stance with his fist high in the air.

"And once we find the generator-"

Mr. L said.

"We can use my L-power to destroy it-"

"And return home dear."

Dimentio chimed in.

Count Bleck gave a hard grin.

"Be aware my idiotic minions, that the generator may be anywhere from feet to miles away from where we breathe. Count Bleck would encourage the two of you to get acquainted with this town and find something to eat for the time being. As with our last attempt to return home, we cannot assume this adventure will be easy."

Dimentio and Mr. L nodded in agreement, holding hands as Dimentio held the compass.

"Follow me my dear L! The arrow points this way, right in the direction of our great Atlantian city!"


End file.
